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Sunday, September 28, 2008
Why I Wrote This BookLoss and Found
is a memoir of my life, a true story (although names have been changed to protect individual identities). Throughout
my childhood and early adolescence, I endured many losses that instilled in me a fear of abandonment, losses not even an adult
should have to face. As a result, I spent my childhood and young adult life filled with angst, trying to
prove myself “worthy” so that I would not be abandoned, left behind, left alone. However, in
trying so hard to prove my self-worth, I developed a dangerous perfectionist attitude, which led to rebellious, problematic
behavior in my teenage years. Behavior common to many teenage girls, but magnified a hundred times over
for me due to the gaping, open wounds my early losses left behind. Fortunately, over time I would find security
and peace and someone who would love me for who I am, no matter what. But I came to this place only after
traveling down a long and sometimes dangerous road. In sharing my journey, I hope to spare others the harrowing
trip I was forced to take from adolescence to adulthood, a trip I almost did not survive. With any luck,
my book can help worried mothers understand what their daughters may be going through and daughters to understand they are
not alone in their feelings or their experiences. Approximately 1.06 million adolescent females suffer from depression Approximately 90,000 women per year suffer from
anorexia Approximately
62,000 people are sexual abused each year by people they know Approximately 100,000 people each year must deal with the suicide of someone
in their nuclear family Approximately 7 million children have parents who are alcoholics I have experienced ALL of these things.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Why the Song Titles?So why is the title of each chapter the name of a song?
Easy... Music is very important
to me. It always has been. Music evokes memories and feelings within me that have been stored away for years and
years. When I listen to songs that I find powerful, emotional, insightful, I bypass my conscious mind and go straight
to these feelings that are hidden away deep inside in my soul. Many people have songs that remind them of a particular
time in their lives. I have songs that remind me of my feelings during a particular time in my life.
When I hear KC & The Sunshine
Band's Boogie Shoes, for example, I instantly recall the feeling of loneliness that emanated through my core
back then, like being on the outside of a one-way mirror looking in, enviously watching my mother experience the 1970's.
A child wanting to be part of a grown-up scene. When I hear REO Speedwagon's Keep on Loving You, I am instantly
taken back to 6th grade, to that uncomfortable, anxious feeling of desperately wanting to be accepted by the "in crowd."
My palms literally grow clammy, as they did when I entered the doors of my elementary school. When I hear Simple Mind's
Don't You (Forget About Me), I think of the mixed feeings I had about high school as I was handed my
diploma at graduation, a longing for the familiar combined with a desire to move on to college, to begin again
in a place where I could remake myself. And when I listen to AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long, I can't
hep but feel the joy that emanated through my body during my first few years of college, when everything was fresh and new
and exciting. When, for a short time, I was in love with my self and my life.
Music means a lot to me, and I honor its role in my life by naming each chapter after a meaningful song. Download the
songs off iTunes and listen to the soundtrack of my life!
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